Ask Questions

Are You Curious?

     At one time or another, we form opinions about ourselves that prevent us from living our lives to our fullest potential.  These limiting thoughts cause us to believe something is true even though it has not been proven. Essentially, limiting beliefs are assumptions.
     If you’ve read The Four Agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz, you know the third agreement is “Don’t Make Assumptions.”  The only way to rid our lives of assumptions is to ask questions until we are completely clear about what is being communicated. As Ruiz points out, “We make all sorts of assumptions because we don’t have the courage to ask questions.” 
     My passion is helping people move forward with courage.
     So, how do we increase our courage?  I believe we increase our courage when we remain curious.
     As a coach, I ask a lot of questions.  Even when I have my own definition of a word or phrase, I never make an assumption about what it means to someone else.  Asking questions helps me and my client gain clarity around the topic being discussed.  Gaining clarity increases our knowledge which, in turn, increases our courage.
     Think of a new skill (golf, guitar, baking a soufflé) you want to learn, but you think, “I won’t be good enough” or “It won’t be good enough.”  Now imagine how you might answer these questions:

  • What assumptions are you making about trying to bake a soufflé?   

  • What does “good enough” mean to you?  Who sets the “good enough” bar in your life?

  • What’s the worst that can happen if you try to bake a soufflé? What could you do differently the next time you bake a soufflé?

  • What’s the best thing that could happen if you try to bake a soufflé? What might that give you the courage to try next?

     I don’t know about you, but I’m super curious about whether I can make a soufflé, what lessons I may learn along the way, and what new skill I may try to learn after that!
     What about you, what are you curious about?
     By the way, if you haven’t read The Four Agreements, I highly recommend you read it --- often.